Rules for Tools: #3 – Spoiler Alert!

And now it’s time for a segment that I like to call Rules for Tools! I often witness people say or do things that make me think, “What a tool!” As judgmental as this my sound, I don’t mean it to be. I accept that I am just as often the culprit of douche baggery as I am the witness. I simply think it’s fun to point it out sometimes. Please feel free to comment below and share what makes you feel this way.

Rule #3: Spoiler Alert!

Since starting this segment I have had to really ponder the definition of a tool. Deep, I know, but there are so many ways to define a tool that everybody’s definition is different. That is what makes this so fun. We all just know one when we see it!

I propose that the one common factor in all our personal definitions of what a tool really is, is the obliviousness attached to thinking one is much cooler than one, in reality, is. If I am correct in this assumption, than we will all readily agree with this particular rule.

We’ve all seen them. Sometimes they speed past us on the freeway, but more often than not they find their place in the slow lane. If your window happens to be down you will hear the signature rattling; either from their obnoxious music or from the primer grey fenders, or both. There isn’t too much out if the ordinary so far. We’ve all had car trouble before and people’s music taste is their own business. However, then you notice… the spoiler.



I am not a mechanic, but the point of a humungous spoiler on a 4-cylinder, front-wheel drive car has always escaped me. So, if you have pointless body modifications and/or a stereo that is worth more than the vehicle itself, consider thyself a tool.

Besides, if this car (oh so beautiful!) doesn’t need a spoiler, I am pretty sure that yours doesn’t either.



3 thoughts on “Rules for Tools: #3 – Spoiler Alert!

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